Pastor Tunde Ayeni has advised singles not to choose a spouse solely because they are in love, arguing that love should not be the primary basis for marriage.
Speaking to his congregation, Ayeni said, “I’ve never told you in this church before to marry somebody that you’re in love with. It’s not a biblical, not a biblical statement at all. And some of you have been fighting me over that. Me too, I will keep fighting you over that.”
He said, “One thing that will give you rest is the choice of the person you marry. If you marry a wrong person, you can never be a man of rest. You are already in prison from the first day.”
According to him, “If you marry the person you love, you’re already a slave to that person. Because you will live all your life trying not to displease it because you love it. In the face of right something, you will still go along with it because you don’t want to offend the object of your love.”
Ayeni added that excessive affection could prevent couples from being honest with each other.
“That’s why some of you cannot tell your wife the truth, you cannot tell your husband the truth, because you are so in love, you don’t want to ruffle the atmosphere. You don’t want to offend it,” he stated.
The pastor therefore advised singles to consider whether they can genuinely live with the person they intend to marry, rather than allowing emotions to make the decision.
“You choose the person you can live with, not the person you love. Don’t marry the person you love. You love the person you marry. Once you have chosen that one, decide to love her, decide to love him. Don’t now choose because you love.”
He urged those preparing for marriage to seek counsel from trusted people before making their final decision.
Ayeni clarified that he was not telling people to marry someone they did not want, but was encouraging them to make their choice carefully.
“Because I never tell people not to marry who they want to marry. Because we won’t stay in the house together.”
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